My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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