I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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