i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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