Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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