Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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