i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
