So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
