i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
