just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't think brook has ever known best
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
