my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize