I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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