just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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