We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
