conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
this hospital has no fireball
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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