i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
