so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
