He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize