alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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