so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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