If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
