We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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