soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
