If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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