She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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