i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
