who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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