How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
