Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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