Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
