she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
