You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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