I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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