this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
3 2 1 whiskey
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
