Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
