An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
