This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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