you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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