Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
