now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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