There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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