His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
