If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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