I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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