I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
