How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm always down for nudity.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
