Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize