I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
