All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
