So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
