I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Randomize
