Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
