I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
