We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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