You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
