it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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