New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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