home. puking in laundry basket.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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