don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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