do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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