I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
