Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
