8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
