There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
