I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
