Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
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I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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