I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How does it feel to date your dad?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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