Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
