You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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